#NF – Now Following – 10/03/2013

I have been on twitter a few years now and there seems to be a common theme.  Besides the men/women, light skin/dark skin slander and the fact that NO subject is off limits I also noticed a high rate of long distance relationships.  What makes it even more alarming is that some of these originated from twitter.  It usually works this way, the follow, you start entering that persons mentions, eventually the dm, then the exchange of numbers, the texts/convos, face timing/Skype, exchanging of photos/videos and then the eventual “meet & beat”.  What is even more interesting is that some of these people get into relationships before “physically” meeting each other. At first glance, this seems crazy and damn near stupid but if you really look at it there really isn’t much of a difference between this and meeting someone in person.  Think about it, you meet someone at a club, store, etc. and you guys exchange numbers.  You go on a few dates, get to know each other and boom you get in a relationship.  Sounds simple enough until you realize that some people are great at lying.  Just from personal experience I have dated women who hid kids, boyfriends, girlfriends (no we didn’t have a ménage) and husbands.  Then, of course, there are people who misrepresent who they really are, their likes and dislikes, personality etc.  Quick story, speaking of hiding stuff I had a friend who once met this woman and they had great chemistry.  They exchanged info and dated a few times and eventually, it led to them having sex.  Now before sex, the woman told him that she used to be really fat and that she had gastric bypass.  My boy was kind of shocked but I will assume that due to the heat of the moment he was like ok, no judgment.  What she neglected to tell him was that while she got gastric bypass surgery she did not receive the surgery after to handle all of the loose skin. So when she stripped down, for the sake of the few people that read this I will not go into further detail but I think you get where I am going with this.  The point of that story was that people lie and hide stuff. Ok back to my point, while online dating is frowned upon minus not physically seeing someone there isn’t much difference between that and the real thing.  Both are big ass crap shoots. A photoshopped pic or two or someone hiding the fact that they have a trigger-happy boyfriend (I’ll tell that story another day) it’s all the same.  Of course, I have been a victim of online dating and physical dating.  Even back in my AIM/Blackplanet days, I fell for the okey doke quite a few times.  Meet a girl online, see a picture than meet in person and they look more like a male than you do smh.  Never forget I met a girl from MySpace.  I fell for the face and tits only avi.  Met the girl and we were the same size, mind you I’m 6’3, 230lbs. I always find myself wondering why men and women would like or fall for someone who lives in different states, time zones or even different continents.  While all men and women aren’t the same a lot of us are definitely similar.  I am only speculating but from a female side maybe the person seems cool and you guys really get to know each other because all you can do is talk (basically we can’t pressure y’all for sex because we ain’t there).  Then again maybe some of you have a reputation in your local city and you need to find someone who is unaware of your past.  I can’t speak for all men but in the past, personally, when I interact with someone online the first thing that I like is that there is distance.  I am sure that sounds crazy but when my schedule consisted of work, school, being a father and the gym I didn’t have much time for a relationship.  The times I attempted to have one I got nagged so much I would just say forget it and end it.  When someone is in a different area or just as busy as you, it can make things easier because there is an understanding.  Of course, the problem with that is when you are really into that person you find yourself upset that you can’t see them when you want to.  This usually leads to some of us being impatient or easily frustrated and it can lead to breakups. I’m not judging because I have been a victim myself.  Let me throw out a few examples of my failed long distance and/or online relationships.  One ended a week before our year anniversary.  She felt like I was getting cold feet about moving (yeah I had it bad, I was actually going to move to be with her) and she got fed up and said it was over.  Of course being the prideful man that I am said “ok”, end of a relationship.  Had another one where she complained about my schedule so I changed it.  Unfortunately, that led to us seeing each other less and she gave me an ultimatum.  Change your job or it’s over, my response “it’s a recession and have a nice life”.  The audacity, at the time I was just working there because they were the only people that called back so even if I wanted to I couldn’t change my schedule but whatever.  That was usually how things happened for me in the long distance/online world of dating. Oh yeah, I hear the saying that social networking ends relationships.  That’s bull if anything in some instances it can help save you from being in a relationship with someone who may be a cheater.  I’ll never forget one morning someone sent me an IG pic of my GF at the time doing some scandalous stuff.  The point is relationships were ending waaaaayyy before social networking was invented.  In my case, it saved me from making a huge mistake because I would have never known until later.  Saved me a few dollars and even bigger embarrassment (like jail time because everybody would die).  The crazy thing is that I couldn’t blame her; I mean any woman going almost a month without “wilt chambawang” would be in need of sex. Ok, that was a failed penis joke but you get what I’m saying.  Well, this concludes another random post from me.  To those of you doing the long distance or online thing, I hope that things work in your favor.  If there is any consolation the odds of success are almost the same as local and in-person relationships.  Good luck and don’t let people judge, I’ll never forget people would ask where I met someone and I would be like online and the reaction would always be the same, from where…followed by a screwed up look on the person’s face and shit talking.  Meh, who cares though, I’m a firm believer in finding your happy, whether that is the “traditional” way or online.

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