Cinco de Mayo

My original plans for Cinco de Mayo were to chill at home, watch a little basketball and write. However thanks to some good old fashioned peer pressure from my boy I was talked into going out. Pretty impressive considering that I didn’t even have a haircut lol.

You know what? Why not blog while I am out… drinking. I am not sure why I thought of this but it just feels like a good idea. I am sure I will regret this later.

I think I’m doing shots of Don Julio and drinking Stella tonight.  Why am I always underdressed? Smh lol. Everyone in here seems to have on business casual attire. I came in here rocking my Outkast/DragonBall Z t-shirt. On a more positive note, I must admit that my arms do look kinda nice tonight. I swear it doesn’t take much to make me happy lol.

Everyone in here looks old as hell. Man wtf. I’m 34 which is old as hell but damn they got to be in their 40’s and 50’s. Please, please don’t let this be my fate. This shit sad. Luckily this Cleveland game is on so I’ll manage. Meanwhile, my boy invited 3 women out to the same venue. I guess he wanna get his Bill Bellamy, How to be a Player on lol. Whatever works I’m just going to remain at the bar drinking, people watching and watch the game.

Then again maybe they are happy, let me not judge. Especially since it could be me one day lol. Eff you, it already is smh.

I’m 2 shots in, still good.

This woman who just sat next to me looks like a damn Simpsons character and I think the gay server who looks like a skinnier version of Frank Ocean keeps asking me if I order food. Dude asked me 5 times already lol. “You sure you didn’t order anything, do you want anything, I got you”. I admire your persistence but damn. Liquor and free food won’t make me gay 😂😂😂

Cleveland is up 97-80 & Bron is actually making his free throws. Haven’t seen anyone look this dominant since MJ. Damn near feels like he is bored and wants to let the team keep it close just to come back and take their heart.

So my boy’s ex comes in and she starts talking to me. Good people, I have known her since college but man she is drunk. Yooooo this heffa just spit on me while she was talking. Shit.

I’m just gonna take another shot lol.

I wonder why this portly sister has her own flower Snapchat filter on her head. I’m confused now lol. Hope someone knocks it off.

Just got asked by this woman why haven’t I spoken to her…time for another shot.

This shit is entertaining. Everyone is shooting their shot in the bar, some seem to be doing well, then again maybe these women just want free drinks. Another shot.

Lol, this dudes hairline is atrocious, shout out to spell check.

Smh they have the worst looking macaroni and cheese ever. Shit looks bad.

Watching these dudes and their receding hairline make me want to thank my Mom. As a matter of fact she called me tonight and as soon as I called back didn’t pick up. I swear.

So these women are talking to me about another party but all I keep thinking about is chicken wings lol. In my defense, they had a big ass plate of them.

Bruh, Triumph- Wu Tang Clan is playing. I’m hyped as fuck.

This lady talking to me really favors Carl Lewis. I bet she ran track back in the day. She really won’t stop talking, and I hate to be rude but I really have to pee. Let me excuse myself.

I am drunk. Let me take a selfie while I’m in this bathroom and post that shit on snap. Swear if it wasn’t for this beard I would be even uglier, I get why dudes grow theirs out now lol.

She still at the bar.

More random convo but I’m entertained and this lady seems to be nice so I will continue to engage. I think I’m ready to go home now tho. I am losing track of how many shots I had.

She finally left!

This Wu-Tang mix is nice but I been up since 4 am. I’m drunk and sleepy. Need to get to this damn Uber.

Finally home and I’m feeling it. Just gonna sit on this couch, drink this water and go to sleep. Hope I wake up in time to go lift.

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