Why so pressed? – 10/23/2013

You guys are killing me with these I need love, looking for love tweets, posts, etc.  I find it strange because the majority of people that I see posting this are in their 20’s.  It baffles me because in my 20’s a relationship was the last thing on my mind, even though I accidentally got into a few.  Oh yeah please don’t get this misconstrued with me being a hoe, it’s just that being in a relationship didn’t consume my thought process.  I just wanted to go to school, hoop, have fun with my friends and relax.  Finding my soul mate was never my concern.  I’m not judging you guys at all, in fact, I am complementing you.

I think it is impressive that such young people want to find their “other half” and live happily ever after…end scene. Ha.  However, I do find it amazing that some single people seem so miserable.  You guys make it seem like being single is some horrible incurable disease…like AIDS, except it stands for As I Die Single or some shit like that. Y’all got to chill.  Considering the fact that most of you haven’t even lived a third of your lives and are acting so pressed amazes me.  Everything is a process and takes time, basically meaning, your day will come.  I know a lot of 30+-year-olds who hate their life because they rushed and married someone when they weren’t ready and now they are divorced or on the verge of divorce.  So I’m wondering what makes everyone seem so obsessed with a relationship.  Is it the sex? Nah, because most of yall already fuckin.  Is it to post pics on IG and twitter and make statuses about how happy you guys are? Are you guys lonely? What is it?  Just curious because like being single being in a relationship has its pros and cons.  In fact, it requires much more work, patience and compromise than being single and let’s be honest, the majority of this fast-food generation can’t handle that.  Then add you guy’s short attention span?  HA-HA, good luck.

Ok, let me take a stroll down memory lane and talk about my favorite topic besides my son, fam, and friends…me.  I grew up pretty traditional.  My parents were married to each other, traditional gender roles, grew up in the church, house, yard, the whole nine.  It was stressed from day one that you were supposed to get married, have kids, etc. in that order.  Guess I really didn’t pay attention to that whole marriage first thing (CIII what up! Love you son).  Growing up I took this theory to heart and unfortunately every woman I started dating I assumed we would get married, even the hoes that I dated and/or got in a relationship with.  I use the term hoe only to prove a point because let’s be real a lot of us fall under that umbrella whether we care to admit it or not.  When technically you aren’t supposed to have sex until you’re married (in some cultures/religions) etc. but who am I to judge? Shout out to those overly righteous, judgmental “I only have sex with people I’m in a relationship types” lmao we are all the same.  So yeah around age 20 or 21 it clicked and I realized that these women that I am dating may not be my wife and even crazier there is a chance that I may not get married.  So as I cruise through my 20’s I get in a relationship, have a kid relationship ends (5 months before I was going to propose, hallelujah) cool.  Get into another one and basically, the same thing happens minus the kid (thank you again, dodged another huge bullet).  So then I hit my 30’s and basically, I’m single again after all of those years of being in relationships and the dreaded gray area.  It kind of feels like I’m MJ except I didn’t get the ring but I reached my pinnacle relationship wise, the game got easy and I retired.

Lmao, do you know how arrogant that last sentence sounded? Oh well, my story so let me be great.  Ok maybe not quite like Jordan but my point is as a person you get to a certain stage where everything makes sense and things aren’t that complicated.  You can see through the BS of the opposite sex and you can see the games, etc. and it doesn’t really faze or bother you.  I feel like that is the current stage I’m in.  I feel like I will eventually find someone but I’m not going to rush it like all those other times and I’m not stressing it anymore.  I have a list of things that are important to me and things that I pray about daily.  Number 1 is being a better father, number 2  is remaining positive and happy, number 3 is focusing on improving my career aka make more money.  Nowhere on my list is “send me a queen” lmao.  By the time I am done trying to accomplish and improve on these things there is no time left in the day to really stress being single.  People have to get their priorities in order and focus on what’s important.  Now if I master all of these other things and someone is placed in my life, trust and believe I will treat her the way she should be treated.  I always have.  I just feel that if you obsess or go looking for something too much you will never find it.  Love or that special person usually sneaks up on you, or so I hear.

I just find it amazing that there are actually people who can barely afford to pay their bills more concerned with finding a man or woman instead of improving their financial situation, or people who barely get to see their kids more concerned with finding someone than seeing their kids.  At the same token I have friends, who are single, have a great career, no kids (any ladies who are interested let me know, I can hook you up) and they are focused on looking for a significant other.  That makes sense, but if you don’t have all your shit together?  Fall back, focus on other things.  I was serious ladies about my boys, I can send you a Facebook invite or something lmao.

Completely lost my train of thought, oh yeah being single isn’t the end of the world, trust me.  Ok here are a few words to my fellas.  I tweeted most of this yesterday.  Y’all are making us look bad.  Every time I see a single dude tweet “she can tweet but not text back” I want to slap the shot out of y’all. Lmao, I’m sure the majority of the time y’all just running game but still.  We know how this single thing works. We are rarely the only one, or we aren’t doing enough to keep her attention, or maybe she is busy. Either way y’all got to chill because let’s be honest the majority of us want the perks of being in a relationship and a woman treating us like their one and only but the moment she wants to put a title on things most of us will say “I’m not ready” or “a title complicates things” or whatever your go-to line is. Ok, I’m done, y’all tell cupid to holla at me and remember as one of the great rap groups ever, Brand Nubian once said, Slow Down.

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