Every week or every other week it seems like I am always notified of either someone getting sick, in an accident cancer or dying. Crazy thing is that it isn’t just old/older people. It is usually people younger than myself.
I’ll be honest, I’m numb to news like this so you rarely get a reaction out of me. It’s not because I don’t care, it’s just that this is the norm for me.
I wasn’t always like this but after years of seeing and dealing with death, you learn to adapt. I always remember my Dad at my grandmother’s funeral telling me that he was tired of going to funerals. This was probably the third or fourth one in like a 4-month span so I understood hid frustration but a crazy thing happened. The next funeral we went to was his.
After dealing with that I just told myself that death is coming and there is nothing that I can do about it so I have to accept it. One way or another.
I also came up with a theory that I was playing with house money if I made it to my 30’s. I feel like maybe the Williams’ men are cursed. Hear me out, I am like the 3rd or 4th oldest male on my father’s side of the family. I have an older Uncle who is 60 who survived cancer and I have an older cousin who is in his 40’s or maybe his 50’s now who just had a stroke. So my antennas are already up obviously. Now back to this theory. My grandfather died in his 50’s. My father and Uncle died in their late 40’s. I have a cousin who is in the generation after mine get killed around the age of 21. I also have other male cousins who are dead as well and are younger than me. So after doing the calculations, it seems that the life expectancy for me and the men in my generation is the 30’s.
I’m 34 years old. Soooo yeah, there is that. What is ironic is that I still live my life pretty conservatively for the most part. That’s mainly because I am a father and that is just my personality. I don’t do much, I wilded out so much in my 20’s I would like to think that I got it out of my system. Well, I can’t do it as consistently as I used to.
I was talking to my mother a few weeks ago and she was telling me how she missed my Uncle who died about a month ago and how her one of her friends died a few weeks ago and that was in the middle of her telling me that someone else that she knew got really sick and she had just left the hospital as well.
Like damn, you got any good news to share Mom?
As I listened to her and thought about my own mortality I stated the obvious. Life truly is short and what can I do to make the most of my brief time here.
Everyone suggests living it up. This is followed by the usual suggestions, go out more, party, have fun and travel.
The thing about going out more and partying is that after some time it gets hollow and expensive. How fulfilling and meaningful is it to go out, drink and bond with random people over drinks for a few hours on a consistent basis? Especially since it is something I used to do religiously. It got old fast.
Then, of course, there was the suggestion to have fun. Well, I have fun when I workout, write, be a Dad and attempt to mind my own business and continue on this journey of mine. When I explain my idea of fun to people they usually give me the blank stare.
The travel thing makes sense. it’s just that I don’t really have anyone to travel with except my boys and that turns into a damn zoo or one of the Hangover movies. I suppose I could travel alone and work on my anti-socialness while I am out lol. Maybe I can make C3 my travel partner.
So while all of these suggestions are valid I feel as if I need to do more with my brief time on this planet. Already working on my whole getting people in my community jobs thing. I also do my part by trying not to lie to women and keeping to myself lol. Not quite sure what else I can do. Need to figure something out because life is short. I would suggest that some of you do the same.