Flake of the year

I need to get my life together. How can I be introverted, frugal, laid back and overly logical/disciplined? Like all at the same time.

My friends, family, and the women I date complain about this and they have every right to complain. It’s like, if I want to go out I have to go through this obstacle course… created by myself of course just to make it out of the house.

Seriously.

Take the scenario of going out to eat on the weekend. Either with my friends or a woman. I will come up with every reason in the world why I can’t go.

I already got groceries, this is a waste of money. I worked and worked out all week, I am tired. I don’t feel like being around a bunch of people. This food isn’t healthy. It’s safer in the house, can’t get into trouble if I am at home. I know they will want to drink and go somewhere after and that will annoy me. Payday is too far away. She doesn’t really like me like that anyway, probably bored or want a free meal. I don’t feel like dressing up. Excuse after excuse after excuse.

So 9/10 I end up sitting at home, writing, napping or on social media.

There has to be a happy medium for me. I can no longer just justify things by saying “this is just how or who I am”.

It’s great that I can acknowledge my shortcomings and admit them but actually make changes? That is the toughest and next step.

I am pretty sure that I have missed out on great moments and great people over the years because of this shit.

Lol, I don’t even have a catchy conclusion to this post. I just know that I am extremely frustrated with myself and my inability to shake this bad habit and personality flaw.

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