Once my 6 pack comes in I’m going to make a YouTube page giving relationship advice to people for profit… with my shirt off or at least showing a little cleavage lol. Seriously, just pick men or probably women (since I’ll be halfway shirtless and they are better consumers) to give generalized advice to them that will take all responsibility or accountability away from them and put it on the other side. Basically, tell them what they want to hear lol.
It frustrates me to see all these relationship gurus posting videos and selling books, trinkets and profiting off of people’s pain. Yes, I said pain. Look, as much as we talk or post about relationships obviously it’s a sore spot for us and obviously something many people desire. I mean if it wasn’t a goal we wouldn’t talk about it so much. Right?
The thing is that we are all different. Different upbringings, cultures, personalities, ways of thinking, values etc. So there isn’t really a universal answer or set of rules that will work for everyone. Yet people still give this “advice “& people swear by it.
I don’t believe in giving real advice. Yes, I blog but that’s just my ego and me giving my opinion or perspective or my story. Basically, just listen, learn or laugh at my mistakes but don’t necessarily apply… I mean you can apply but it may not work because well, we are different and I am always messing up lol.
If I were to give advice, however, think I could do a decent job. Let’s see…
- People need to figure out who they are and be comfortable with themselves before being with someone else.
- Yes effort is attractive but it goes both ways. I see women post all day about how quick they are to cut someone off but in the same breath complain about men not showing effort, being patient or trying hard enough. So you want to sit back and not do anything but expect the guy to… lol, nevermind. Seriously, there are women out here cutting dudes off for simple reasons like slow text responses or whatever reason pops into their head. (For the record I am guilty as well, not slow texts but if I text and get no response or double text? Yeahhh we are probably done) Lol, people have too much pride and too many options so I don’t care how “rare” or “exceptional” you think you are. You may want to give what you want to receive. I mean doesn’t it feel a little hypocritical asking or expecting people to give things that you don’t even give yourself.
- Men you have to be honest. Even if that means she will turn you down, tell her the truth. Yes I know what most women want to hear. Yes I know that you’re thinking that maybe if you wait to tell the truth until after you have been talking for awhile it will be ok and she will stay. I get it lol but you have to stop lying. Lying about what you want in regards to a relationship, what’s in your pocket, everything. Give her the option to choose instead of just taking it dishonestly.
- Communicate. Not that dumb ass convo at the beginning where y’all ask shit like “what’s your favorite color” or “where are you from” or whatever simple stuff we ask when we first meet. I’m talking communicate on a level so that you actually get to know each other emotionally and whatnot. I haven’t quite figured out how to do that obviously but yeah, do that lol.
- Pay attention to your significant other. We all have routines and patterns. All of us. It would behoove you to figure out your significant others. This will help you deal with potential mood swings, help prevent conflict and if they are living foul will allow you to figure out if they are cheating lmao. Ok, that was negative, my bad but it happens. Also by paying attention you can usually notice when things may be getting rocky in the relationship. If so, maybe that will give you time to discuss and potentially fix things before they get worse or prepare you for the end. Speaking for myself, in my more recent relationships I could tell when I was about to get dumped because I could see my woman’s pattern changing and noticed her checking out. Sometimes I would try to fix it and other times I just let it be but that’s not the point. Lol, the point is that I was able to see it coming and it allowed me to handle the break ups much better.
- Stop looking up to celebrities as relationship goals. Different people, different lifestyles, different set of circumstances. They usually control the narrative so you will usually only see the good stuff. Also looking up to people will always leave you disappointed in the long run. Damn near gives the vibe that people are looking up to them almost like parents and then become all sad and devastated when they break up lol. Like damn “mommy and daddy” are getting a divorce 🤣
- Keep the friends and fam out of your issues with you partner. You will end up forgiving them but your friends and fam will never forget and dislike their ass forever. This could be problematic in the long run lol.
- Figure out what you want the relationship to be. Like your standards, requirements, roles etc. Seriously, stuff like are y’all splitting bills or is this a traditional household etc. This stuff is important. I say this because quite often and maybe this goes back to communication but people tend to come into relationships with their own beliefs and expectations without even discussing all of them with their partner. Then of course, when that discussion finally happens it’s damn near too late lol.
- Finally, do what makes you happy. The Hell with what anyone else has to say. Like I always tell my boys, you live with her ass, I don’t lol so do what you have to do in order to be happy.
Ok, I guess this is the part of the post where I promote my shirts or a book or something lol. I say that in jest because maybe these people really mean well, maybe. Also, I am all for people making money and becoming entrepreneurs but damn, they still look real funny in the light.
Oh yeah and that whole you shouldn’t take relationship from single people thing? I kind of get it. At the same time if the single person is honest and can admit why they are single and be able to admit flaws and not come off as high and mighty or being perfect I think it’s ok.
Whether the person is single or not, personally I prefer just doing it my own way. That way if I mess up I can only blame me lol but do whatever works for you.