I love women to death… that’s probably why I write about them so much but help me out, ladies. Why do y’all like giving so much unsolicited advice? Is it the maternal instinct, maybe your need to nurture? Do you think men are just totally incompetent & unable to function without you? Do we come off as needy? What is it?
So of course, when presented with this advice that I already know and didn’t ask for I have to decide how to respond. Do I pretend I need it and say thank you, let it go and say thank you or do I let them know that I know already and didn’t ask for their advice?
Well, as I get older I find myself leaning towards the latter. Just telling people I know already.
A friend of mine said it was just them trying to show that they care. I kind of disagree. Lol or maybe I just show it differently. If I care I’ll just listen to you or ask if you’re ok, or something. What I won’t do is state the obvious or speak on things you know more about than I do.
That’s another thing. People will give me advice about my job or parenting or working out and they may not be in my line of work, have no kids or don’t even workout but can tell me what I need to do lol.
How exactly does that work?
I get it, maybe this is part of that whole uplifting, helping men grow, or the being supportive thing that women say they do.
So, of course, the irony is that when roles are reversed my “help” usually means that I’m implying that I don’t like something about you lol. Better yet I can be accused of trying to boss and control, maybe even change someone instead of trying to help you.
So yeah, stop it. Also feel free to stop attempting to make people feel guilty for responding or explaining how they feel. “Well I was just trying to help you” or “every time I try to help you shoot me down or hurt my feelings”. See this is the last time that I give you advice or help you out.
Good. No one asked you to.