This post was written on 01/27/2016 on my previous blog… yes the one that I deleted lol. After the President requested the transgender ban on the military and after hearing the comments of comedian Lil Duval on The Breakfast Club last week and the reaction I figured that I would post again…
A straight guys guide to dating a transsexual – 01/27/2016
How do you date a transsexual? You don’t. Well, at least I don’t. I have a preference when it comes to women and I prefer them to be born with certain equipment as opposed to getting surgery later. This post isn’t meant to judge, bash or shame anyone. As I get older I realize that it is not my concern what other adults do with their bodies. I have also found that if I minded my own business more often I wouldn’t have time to worry about what another person is doing. In short, find your happy. Who am I to judge?
Now I am not here to argue what is or is not a real man or woman. You ask even a small group of people and I am sure you will get varying responses. So use whatever definition works for you. I read recently that pre and post op transsexuals will be allowed to participate in whatever gender they identify themselves to be during the Olympics. That is great and all but this is not the Olympics. This is life and more specifically this is dating in 2016. It is sad and unfortunate that anyone is murdered no matter the reason and this reason is not any different. I hear tragic stories of transsexuals being murdered on a daily basis.
I must admit that if you asked me what would happen if I found out that someone I was sexually active with hid the fact that they were transgendered I would seriously contemplate ending their life and/or my own. Call me transphobic, call my masculinity fragile but I am just being honest. At the same time, I know that I am being a hypocrite but I hate when someone murders a transgendered person for reasons such as fear of being outed. There is nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to transsexuals if that is what you are into. There is no reason to be such a horrible person that you would kill someone because they are different and you are ashamed.
Why am I even bringing this up? Well, because this is a part of our reality and I feel as if it should be addressed. I was on IG or Twitter one day and I saw one of the Throwback Thursday pics and it was a picture of an “IG model”. She was previously a little boy and now a woman. I thought to myself sheesh, it must be harder to date out here as a man. So I thought to myself, how do you date without making the mistake of dating a transgendered woman. That is of course if that is not what you are into. Nothing is fool proof but let me take a stab at it.
I guess one method would be to only date women with children. Also to make the woman show pictures of her being pregnant and child birth or hospital pictures. Also, a reference from her child’s father and a female and male relative that she grew up with. Ok, ok this may be too extreme.
So here are a few other less extreme methods that may work for you. To my online dating guys, I would suspect that the most popular sites are probably POF and Tinder. Read the profiles. If the user has trans in their screenname or TS that may be a hint. Also, most people are very proud of who they are and will say in their profile that they are transsexuals. So yeah and to my Tinder guys, stop swiping rapidly on every picture in hopes of getting a match. May end up in a modern version of “The Crying Game”. That reference is probably outdated so Google it lol. To the old fashioned people who actually go out and meet people you have to, dare I say, communicate, get to know people and have conversations with them. I know, what a horrible and much slower process but it has to be done. Slow down with those one-night stands. Being drunk or buzzed combined with the club lighting can get you in trouble. It is ok to just exchange contact information and talk or meet the next day.
Ironically if you talk and get to know someone certain information like that and even other things will come out. Not to mention that during this talking stage you can have time to do your research. You know, check that Facebook, Twitter, and IG, hell, run a background check if you must. Also when asking questions ask the right questions. Be blunt if you have to, even at the risk of losing someone or being slapped. I say right questions because one thing that I have learned is that people will only answer or tell you what you actually ask them. If you have any doubts physically leave them alone. Maybe their neck looks funny, hands and feet seem too large, all the body parts seem fake, too much makeup or you never see them without makeup or maybe they have too many manly facial features.
That is hit or miss because a lot of y’all look just like y’all daddies but I would rather be wrong than right. Oh yeah and another sign that may be vulgar but if a random woman who I just met out of the blue requests to perform oral sex on me only or unprovoked or for free I am going to be skeptical. I am not rich, famous or fine enough to frequently get these types of requests so I will always decline lol. I know what some of you are saying. People lie all the time. Yes, they do. At the same time at least do what you have to do in order to attempt to prevent it from happening. My goodness.
I know some of you have read this post and wondered what did the transsexual community do to you? Nothing. Nothing at all. If we were being honest I feel that as the LGBTQ movement continues to grow stronger, transsexuals are becoming more accepted and in return seem to be more open with their choice. If we are being real it isn’t even really that taboo anymore. So to those of you living that life, I commend your bravery. Continue doing what makes you happy, life is short. As for me, I am going to continue working on myself. It doesn’t feel that good openly admitting that I could kill someone. I need to get that hate out of my heart.
So that was posted 18 months ago or so. Since then I have had a transgendered person on a dating site proposition me for sexual favors. That person ( I will assume pre-op) straight up offered me money to give me head. I also have had a woman offer sex but I had to have sex with her transgendered friend first. Sooo yeah, first thing is first, let us address the elephant in the room. It is time to leave those dating sites alone Calvin. That is number one. Number 2, while these interactions were quite disturbing, this does not apply to all transgendered people. See quite often when we have one bad experience with a group of people that we may not really like or understand we apply it to the entire group. That is wrong. Number 3, I declined both of those propositions. Number 4, just like I tell women up front that I am broke transgendered men and women should tell men and women what they are as well.
I am also curious as to how to address this because it is a part of all of our lives. For example, the “outing and shaming” of those who interact with transgendered people is interesting. On one hand, you say there is nothing wrong with it but you ridicule men who get “caught” with transgendered people. Lol and then there are some transgendered people seem to find joy in exposing people. Seems counter productive in my eyes but whatever works for you I suppose. If nothing else it is good to see that no matter your gender you can still be shady and messy as hell lol.
See we are all more alike than we are willing to admit lol.
Finally, what the President is attempting to do makes zero sense to me but then again nothing that he or our other politicians do make any sense. As far as the Lil Duval comments go, he is a comedian. I take his comments with a grain of salt and even if he is serious…well he basically incriminated himself on the air.
Isn’t there a Bobby Valentino story out there too? Nevermind, he is like 5’2 and hasn’t had a hit since George W. Bush was President so y’all don’t care who he was potentially having sex with anyway lol.
Also, much respect to the transgendered community boycotting The Breakfast Club. Imagine if other groups of people (hello black people and other races who claim to be down for the cause lol) boycotted or no longer supported certain companies or sports leagues if they did something we felt was negative or unfair or hateful to our people lol.
I will also from this point on when meeting any woman that I am interested in I will ask her if she is transgendered or not. Even if that means I could get curved for it.