The beauty of this blog, in my opinion, is that I get to share thoughts and moments in my life. The good and the bad. This happens to be some of the bad lol.
It’s that time of the year, Valentine’s Day. This time of the year is always interesting because it seems to be one of the few times (for some men) that women become more aggressive and nicer. You get those “hey stranger” messages, more compliments, maybe a few more comments and likes, and more DM’s. Women’s requirements or preferences seem to slacken also. Like, his beard doesn’t have to connect, he doesn’t necessarily have to be 6 feet tall, so what if he is a little misogynistic, or asked me for pics not on the internet… all because SOME women don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day, go figure lol.
First and foremost I suggest that you guys enjoy this abnormal amount of attention while it lasts. I also want you to be realistic if you actually end up with a Valentine. If it is someone you are really feeling and want a potential future with go all out. If you don’t really feel that way or you feel as if the person is just using you due to loneliness or boredom do the bare minimum lol or at least understand that it’s temporary and leave your feelings out of it. Translation: Get that nut lol.
I know that quite often I can come off as mean, an ass, bitter, grumpy and totally against love which is so far from the truth. As a matter of fact, quite often I have made efforts and put myself out there in hopes of finding “the one”… all to no avail but I’m at peace with that. When it’s my time it will be my time, no rush.
So yeah, Valentine’s Day. I have participated in this “holiday” before and while some of them went extremely well, there were others (recent ones) that were just tragic. Ok, maybe I am being dramatic, not tragic but they definitely sucked. Let me give you 3 examples. I’ll try to be brief.
1. I was in a relationship with this older woman and things were going well between us. We saw each other at least 5 days a week, got along and had great chemistry. Like, she didn’t even get on my nerves lol. I liked her so much that I was actually nervous about Valentine’s Day, it had been awhile since I participated and I didn’t know what to get her. I decided to go the traditional route. Take her to her favorite restaurant, get a bear, chocolate, roses and the best few minutes of sex that I could possibly give her. I was so excited because I hadn’t planned anything like this in quite some time. Then this one conversation happened.
Her: CJ, I’m going to all-star weekend.
Me: When is that?
Her: This weekend.
Me: Won’t that interfere with Valentine’s Day?
Her: We can celebrate before or after.
Me: I don’t want you to go, spend the weekend with me.
Her: I already got my tickets and we will have so many more Valentine’s Day’s together.
Me: Oh ok.
Lol, now right then and there that “oh ok” meant I was done. That “I love you” switch turned to “I’m indifferent to you” just that fast. I just didn’t realize that at the moment. I still did the dinner, had sex with her for what ended up being the last time (as a couple lol) and dropped her off at the airport. She texted me pics from the weekend, told me her stories, including how one of her friends had roses sent to her by her man. Then had the audacity to ask why I didn’t do the same lol. I must admit, she really had balls or maybe I was such a bitch back then and she knew it. She thought everything was cool because I didn’t show any signs of anger. That’s not my nature. Then she made the mistake to ask if I were going to pick her up from the airport. I said Nah, followed by a brief explanation. She really was shocked and attempted to blame me somehow. I was being extra, sensitive and something about trust or some B.S., it has been so long I can’t fully remember her argument but either way I know it sucked and started a trend of relationships and situationships ending on or immediately after Valentine’s Day.
2. Things were rocky in my long-distance relationship. We had a few issues and she was ready to end it, in fact she said it was over but I talked her into not giving up. Yes me of all people lol. Here is documented proof that I “fought for someone” lol. I told her that I’m going to fly into town so we can work on things and spend Valentine’s Day together. Operation save my relationship was in full effect. Got my fresh cut, found shirts to wear that actually weren’t t-shirts, got her the expensive wireless speakers she wanted, flowers, candy, bear, a Hallmark card that I personalized and the biggest apology I could think of. I was ready to save my relationship dammit. I get there and the vibe is kind of shaky but I see the potential. We are communicating better and I am feeling hopeful. Then it happens, as I was coming up behind her to give her a kiss, my nosey ass happens to see her imessage. She was thanking a friend for sending a Valentine’s Day gift to someone she is interested in. Here is the kicker, the person she sent the gift to is a gay woman. Bad enough that she didn’t get me anything lol but I don’t know if I should be mad because of that, because she is talking to someone else, because it was a woman or because I didn’t attempt to have a threesome lol. So now my mood is gone all to Hell. This relationship can’t be saved and I’m too broke to be able to change my tickets so I can’t leave any sooner. I spent the rest of my weekend there pissed and feeling uncomfortable. Meanwhile she was texting the new girl and barely talking to my ass. In hindsight I wish I wouldn’t have been so upset because at the very least, maybe I could have got some but I was too upset and in my feelings to even try. We ended things officially before I got on the plane.
3. This was another long distance situation. We planned a “bae-cation” for Valentine’s Day. Not going to say where we went but I was ready. I did the flowers, candy, card, bear, and jewelry. Had the couples massage on deck, dinners, movies, carriage ride and the escape room set up. This ended up being one of the worst weekends of my life… until the next time. It felt awkward, she complained about everything, and by the second day I didn’t like her anymore. I figured that she felt the same way lol. It was if she checked out and was just going through the motions and everything I did bothered her. Women are no joke when they check out lol. I pushed through the weekend and guess What? Once again I didn’t get any lmao. Y’all sense a theme here? Before I hopped on the plane she gave me the “I need space and this probably isn’t going to work” talk. She was smooth with it though, she gave me the whole, we will probably work things out speech but I knew the deal. We didn’t and that’s cool, just wish I would have known before that weekend lol.
Also to the men out there who may be in similar situations pay better attention to the signs, good and bad and if you do take an L it isn’t the end of the world. In fact, it’s probably a blessing in disguise. Lol and while I get the somewhat negative tone of this post I want to get this point across as well. Don’t let your past define you or make decisions for you. I do suggest that we all be cautious but that’s where I stop. Even though I know that it’s easy to say or believe “well since this happened with x,y,z it’s going to happen with all women”. Not necessarily. As you can see despite my multiple failures somehow I was able to dust myself off and try again lol. Now if it happens a few more times then my stance may change but I doubt that will happen. So yeah, Happy Valentine’s Day, let’s hope yours ends up better than mine did.