Casual sex sucks…

Casual sex low-key sucks. Lol, bare with me. No this isn’t some post where I find morals, religion, enlightenment or a newfound purpose. Like on some “I can’t have sex unless it’s the one or only if we are building towards something”. Nope, whether I like you or not, the blood still gonna flow. Lol, and depending on my mood I may do certain freaky things that only a significant other or someone that actually likes you may do.

With all of this being said as I get older I find my patience has shortened and my need for peace of mind to be much more valuable than coitus. Crazy right? So this is where the problems lie. Some people either have bad personalities or nothing to offer outside of the physical. Either because they are lacking or because I didn’t take the time to truly get to know them. Whatever the reason this often times eventually make casual sex frustrating. Like the sex can be great but what happens before and after? Smh. Don’t get me wrong, in some scenarios when it’s totally 100% sex. Only having sex a few times, no cuddling, dating, convo after, just come through, smash and leave, things can flow smoothly.

Of course, we all know that this rarely happens or if it does there is an expiration date on it. That’s when things can get really tricky if both parties don’t realize it’s over.

One person may want more or catch feelings. Then all of a sudden, just sex isn’t enough or all of a sudden they get jealous of others or the biggest mistake, they want more. Well, let me rephrase, them wanting more isn’t bad. Rather, them thinking that they want more based off of only the physical or sexual chemistry and potential.

I always say in any relationship the sex is easy. You communicate enough you will know what works with your partner. The problem is everything else. Like, can we just hang out and do nothing? Are we able to have a meaningful conversation? What is your personality like? Can we do things as simple as go out in public and not worry about being embarrassed? Better yet, how do you handle pressure or stress? All questions that can’t be answered when all you do is have sex, text about sex and talk about sex. With a couple of how was your day convos or brief vent sessions in the middle. So now you are basically taking this risk with no real information except that the sex is good. You only know each other sexually, that’s it. Lol and of course the fact that the sex is good will make us overlook, forgive or deal with things that we normally wouldn’t deal with. Like “yeah, she is bad with money but the way that she sucks my…” Lol or “he isn’t the greatest father but the way he makes me…” I think you get my point.

Let’s be real, I know some of you are dealing or have dealt with people you don’t really like that much just because of the sex and the convenience or boredom. Like if they died tomorrow you would probably be sad because someone died or because the fact that they were close to your age makes you face your mortality. Outside of that after a few days you would probably be fine… unless they died from AIDS or something, then that would be an entirely different discussion and thought process. I’m getting sidetracked, oh yeah my point is that you really wouldn’t care if they died lol.

Years ago if I were sexually attracted to a woman but she annoyed the Hell out of me or we just weren’t compatible I would deal with it, just to get that nut. If I knew she wanted more and I only wanted sex I would have played along as well. Now tho? Lol, I swear it doesn’t take much. I can’t even fake it. Once I’m bothered and I see that we don’t click I’m done. If she want’s more than I am willing to give I have to cut her off ASAP. Which is somewhat disheartening for me. There is nothing worse than knowing you can get “it”, that it’s probably going to be exceptional and having to turn it down. Like damn, I don’t even have the patience to deal with that? I have to really be open and honest? I guess as we get older comfort and peace of mind becomes more important than that sexual release. Also, I have enough bad karma built up, not trying to add to it by knowingly wasting that person’s time… even if they are begging me to do so.

Yes, I said begging because often times even when you are open and honest with people they may accept you and your terms with the hope that eventually they can persuade you to do things their way. I am always amazed at how powerful and persuasive we think we are as men and women. Lol, like you really think you can not only change a person’s mind but also get them to act accordingly? This is why quite often people get used, “played” or cheated… nevermind.

So yeah, that’s why I’m not as keen on casual sex anymore. I imagine that if I never get married it will always be a part of my life but that extra that comes with it at times will never be worth the trade-off. Let me relax, I’ll never say never because desperate times will call for desperate measures. Better yet maybe I should call it “complicated sex” or consistent casual sex lol. Like maybe after a month if you cut people off it wouldn’t get so complicated… which is why I am an advocate of men and women having rosters. Make your team, no one is judging you. In the meantime, I will continue to endure and deal with this necessary evil lol.

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