I don’t think it’s any secret why I’m not a big fan of holidays. As a matter a fact I wrote about it a few months ago ➡️ Holiday Excuses
So yeah, yesterday was Valentine’s Day and you know what I saw more than pictures of happy couples, engagements, flowers, candy, balloons, men finally admitting that they are in relationships and sappy ass posts? It was sad, depressing and borderline hating posts from people who didn’t have a Valentine.
My first reaction was to clown these people, like on some, smh look at these bitter people. Hell, I admit that I did laugh at every woman who posted about finally finding out that some dude who was in her Dm’s that she curved had a woman. It’s not like you liked him and had something going on with him so who cares? Besides it’s obvious he isn’t faithful so you aren’t losing anything so why even care or share this information? Maybe to make you feel better about being single? To show social media that men want you and you would have one but they are “trash”. Hell, maybe it’s not even that, maybe you are just trying to laugh and joke through your pain. I get it we all have our coping mechanisms. My bad.
I’m better than this (not really) but I had to get that off of my chest.
As I read the other posts of people being sad yesterday it reminded me of one of the bad things about holidays and social media. Often times it makes people sad and depressed.
First, let me tackle the whole holiday thing. Yesterday was Wednesday. The previous six Wednesday’s or so in 2018 you didn’t have anyone nor was anyone buying you flowers and shit but you were ok or at least seemed to be ok. Yet now just because this Wednesday is called Valentine’s Day all of a sudden you really miss all of that and are in your feelings. All because of this commercialized hustle, I meant holiday. Crazy right? Like do we even know what this day actually means? Better yet, I read in Forbes magazine (ok I skimmed) “Valentine’s Day is going to surpass the football craze with total spending set to hit a record $19.7 billion, according to the National Retail Federation. Some 54.8 percent of Americans are expected to celebrate the holiday this year, with candy, greeting cards and an evening out at the top of the gift list”. I’m hating, this is one hell of a hustle.
So then we add social media to the mix. You can log onto IG for example and after seeing a few posts feel poor, ugly, alone, broke and badly built. So it’s bad enough that you didn’t get anything but now you open your apps and see all of these happy couples, all the flowers, gifts, engagements, etc. and now you really feel like you are the only person in the world who doesn’t have a Valentine or someone in your life who loves you. It’s almost like voluntary torture or something. Because we know you can’t just stop checking your social media throughout the day. So you check over and over and over. Getting reminded constantly that you don’t really have anyone in your life who truly loves you, romantically.
You know it’s human nature to compare things. I imagine that some of us have been told not to compare ourselves to other’s but it happens. You see your peers or people you know doing things that you would like to do or positive you are going to compare and possibly want what or something similar to what they have. Now fortunately for me, I have learned not to compare because if I compared my life to other men in their mid 30’s I would probably kill myself or at least be extremely depressed. People out here happily married with kids, looking all happy, nice clothes, traveling the world, on vacation, at outings, partying and whatnot. Meanwhile, all I have is blog posts, workout updates, a bunch of funny t-shirts, monthly visits to see the fam and random snaps posted reminding me of how corny, introverted and how much of a homebody I can be lol. Sounds depressing in comparison to others… however, it isn’t really that bad. Everyone’s journey isn’t the same and you have to enjoy your own life. By no longer comparing, I have really been able to chill and maintain my peace of mind and in the process do what I like and what makes me happy, despite how it may look to the masses. Lol at me using the word masses, more like the 50 or so people who see it.
So yeah stop comparing. Also, you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. You see all these people who seem to be in happy relationships but they could be getting cheated on, verbally and physically abused or anything. You can see people who seem to be well off financially but they aren’t, they may just be good at faking, stealing pics but in reality, don’t even have a home address. I could give examples all day but I think you get my point. Then what is even sadder is that for some people their only joy is getting those likes and comments on social media. Isn’t that sad? Like your world revolves around that. Then we add the pressures and stress of living these lies? Smh, just one screenshot or someone exposing these people’s true lives and killing the one thing that gives them joy.
You know, I really wish we could find our own level of happiness and not let society dictate it so much.
Ok, now I need to have a brief word with the fellas. I know that days like these can lead to pressure and stress. Then we add the fact that some of us aren’t the most romantic or great at planning things. I get it. So maybe this would be a nice copout but if you celebrate other holidays but try to justify not celebrating Valentine’s Day you are full of shit. Please don’t give me that “I don’t need a holiday to show my woman I love her” B.S. I am willing to bet that if we asked your woman she would not agree. Besides. you really don’t understand this no holiday lifestyle. Never accept gifts from people but giving them, always explaining your beliefs to people only for them to basically tell you to “celebrate cuz everyone else does, it won’t hurt”. Which of course is so demeaning to me and my beliefs lol, I’m not doing shit because everyone else is doing it, I have to conform enough in the workplace smh. Oh yeah and heaven forbid you have a significant other, especially for holidays like Valentine’s Day. There is a 100% chance that she will get upset, and things will get rocky between you because she wants what the other women are getting and to show that off more than likely. So (speaking from experience) when you do celebrate certain things or do just because things you have to always be creative, extra and go above and beyond in hopes that eventually she will understand and at least be ok with your beliefs. If you aren’t willing to go through or deal with all of that? Just celebrate the damn holiday, trust me. Only telling you what I know because sometimes even when you are right, maybe explained your stance on things you still feel wrong when your woman is all upset and looking sad at you lol.
Still, feeling sad because you had no Valentine?
Ok, here is another way to look at it. There are people out there wondering where their next meal is coming from, sick, wondering will they get a job or where they are going to sleep. When you compare that to you only worrying about a Valentine’s Day gift or someone wanting you is it really that bad? Like despite the few bad things wouldn’t you consider yourself winning? I’m just saying, I wouldn’t want to trade places.
Oh yeah and cheer up, its tax return season, your time to shine. Hell, you can buy all the flowers you want when you get your money. Even better, you can even lie, post them on social media and say “bae ” got them for you lol, whatever works.