I enjoy writing about things that I observe on social media. If you follow this blog I imagine, well I hope that it’s pretty obvious. Yes, there is somewhat of a theme here, it’s not as random as it may appear to seem lol.
I say that to say the majority of the time my blog doesn’t really mirror my personal life. While I write about relationships, gender roles, dating, celebrities, etc., to be perfectly honest the majority of the time I’m thinking about my personal demons, how to be a better father, my career, my health, and how I can assist my friends and community. I would write about these things (well I write them in my journal but never post them) but it’s boring and doesn’t get views lol, I have the stats to prove it. Besides I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words and in regards to those personal things, at this stage, I have talked about them enough, trust me.
Ok, now that I have that explanation out of the way, let me get back on track.
As I observe social media I constantly see a pattern that men and women have and it puzzles me. For whatever reason, we love to complain about who has it harder or more difficult, especially in the dating world. The traditional gender role argument, men have to provide, women have to nurture, all men cheat, as men we have to always pay, who supports us as women, blah, blah, blah. It’s pretty funny that instead of learning about each other it just turns into a contest to say who has it the worst and no one learns anything. Instead, it leads to more animosity and resentment.
As I look at the back and forth and the complaints I find myself thinking, you guys do realize that as adults you don’t have to deal with certain things right? I see non-traditional situations and relationships all of the time. So it can be done. Will this be hard to accomplish? Maybe. Will this decrease your options? Yes. Will you be judged? Hell yeah but so what? If at the end you get what you want and you are happy it shouldn’t really matter.
I hear so many people complain or make the excuse “what if I end up alone forever”. First of all, we are never forever alone, if nothing else a few seasonal people will come into our life to at the very least give us hope and a few good moments/memories. Also, I have yet to hear of being single killing anyone. You want to know what I have heard that kill’s people or can lead to sickness though? Toxic, unhealthy and stressful relationships and situations. These usually lead to mental, emotional and sometimes physical damage. I get it though, I guess some of us prefer being miserable with someone over being alone.
No this isn’t an anti-relationship post. Instead, it’s an anti-settling post. I feel as if you don’t always have to settle just to have a piece of something you want.
So yeah, don’t settle BUT if you do, do us a favor and stop complaining once you do it. I get things being unfair in society, such as gender inequality, racial inequality, abuse and mistreatment of other groups of people, Hell you can yell about that until you are blue in the face. I can respect that but in regards to who you choose to date or be with? What you allow to happen to you or force yourself to do? Lol, like you made this choice and decision so deal and make the best of it orrrr as crazy as it sounds don’t deal with it at all, leave.
Profound as hell right? Lol. I have had friends who complained about their wife almost every time that we talked and at some point, I just told him to leave her or stop talking to me about it. It’s like, you married her for a reason, no one made you do it, so either deal with it or don’t. I get that maybe you don’t want to be alone but is what you aren’t getting at home and being unhappy worth it? If the answer is yes, shut up.
I know a guy who complained about having to pay for dates. I said well, tell women she has to pay her part or half. His response was, but then I won’t be able to go on dates with most women and it will limit my options. Well then there you have it, shut up and deal.
Same applies to women. All he does is text wyd and never makes plans… make your own plans or find another man who will. Men expect you to be loyal no matter what they do… go find one that doesn’t feel that way or reciprocates. I always see posts saying men are trash and worthless… well you can be gay or just practice self-love. Some women do this and are happy, and I appreciate that they do this. If you can’t beat them, join them I guess lol.
You know, I often wonder if we all are really going through some of the things I see us complaining about on social media in regards to the opposite sex. I honestly think that sometimes we are projecting things that we see or have read from others lives. Which I guess is ok in the sense that it’s good that you can show compassion and empathy for your brothers and sisters. So much so that you are literally feeling their pain and making it yours. However, we also have to guard against others negativity and views rubbing off on us. You see or hear or engage in something long enough it will become your reality. I always give the example of how I was meeting pretty decent women in my personal life but felt somewhat negative towards women because I would project what I was hearing from my friends or saw on social media daily towards them before I even got to know them.
So yeah, like I said before, you can deal with it or not but if you are going to deal, at least spare us the complaining act. No one is making you deal with these men or women, it’s all you, so take that accountability and do something about it… besides bitching.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand venting but when it’s all I see I start to think to myself, hmm they really feel this way about the opposite sex, so why do they even bother? You really are just making yourself and others around you miserable. Go buy a sex doll, robot or whatever it is and call it a day, I hear they are making them for women too now. So men and women have options.