So I posted a workout video yesterday and it went as poorly as expected. Between my boys clowning me and a few women telling me I was thirst trapping it was just not one of my finer moments lol. I imagine it was because I was shirtless but in my defense, I only showed my back and when I do home workouts I wear as little as possible. Already doing laundry twice a week lol smh.
Someone asked me a pretty simple question, why are you working out so hard bruh.
I thought for a second and being the smart ass I tend to be from time to time I said simply because I want to. I then threw in the usual, plus I’m getting older blah, blah, blah. Typical answer that I give but to be honest it’s a little deeper than that.
I’m 35 years old, which if you multiply it by 2 equals 70, so there is a good chance that I have lived half or more than half of my life. So I felt as if some changes needed to be made. Physically and mentally, this takes care of the former. Also as an adult, there is no one who is going to take care of me. I haven’t lived with my Mom for 18 years and my sister has her own family to deal with so it’s just me. No one is going to take care of me and even if they tried I probably wouldn’t let them.
I was listening to the new Phonte album the other day, No News is Good News and he has a song entitled “Expensive Genes” where he talks about his family, health, his father dying and bad habits that lead to his relatives and black people dying young in general. That song somewhat explained what I am going through. I have lost relatives due to health issues, relatives who had heart problems, diabetes, high blood pressure, and everything else. Hell, there are times I get nervous answering phone calls from my Mom (who I watch take around 10 pills a day) because I fear she is going to tell me she is back in the hospital because her bad health got worse… I also dread getting my ear talked off by her lol.
That’s the thing though, while I also saw relatives die or get sick because of these medical issues I have also seen the impact of smoking, drinking, drugs, violence, doing illegal things and making other bad decisions over the years. There are a few who were shot, killed or had addictions that led to their death.
I still find it disturbing that on my Dad’s side of the family I am like the 3rd or 4th oldest male in my family. Hell and the uncle and cousin older than me had cancer and heart problems so they aren’t necessarily in the greatest of health.
Armed with this background and information in my early 30s I decided to make a few lifestyle changes. I don’t want to have the same fate as my relatives. Gone are the constant weekends of drinking myself stupid and partying all the time. Going out trying to find my next temporary female interest weekly lol, pigging out, eating whatever foods I want, being out super late. It got old and expensive lol. Not only that but nothing really came of it. So one day it was like Calvin, you are doing too much, sit your ass down somewhere.
So all the going out, eating out, drinking and smoking (I had a weird black & mild phase some years ago), entertaining random people (I was a low-key serial dater lol) and food binging had to come to an end. So one day I just stopped.
The transition sucked. To go from doing all of that to basically nothing? I’m bored, text a chick, get drunk, go out, eat a bunch of snacks. Now when I’m bored I write, workout, browse social media (lol that may actually be a bad habit) or try to find something to research or sleep lol.
Minus the food thing, I don’t really backslide. Now I’m just hoping this is the year that I can consistently eat right as well.
There are other positives of this lifestyle, mainly that it saves money. You don’t eat out as much, instead, you buy groceries. So you go from spending close to 200 plus a week eating out just Monday – Friday to spending less than that for what is the equivalent of almost 2 weeks worth of groceries. Then you throw in the fact that you are drinking less so you cut down on all the happy hours and just purchasing alcohol in general. Even more in your pocket. Then we add the fact that I am counting macros and eating foods based off of the actual serving size on the box. Take for example cereal. My box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch used to last maybe 5 days, now that I’m only eating the serving size it lasts 2 weeks lol. Same applies to my other foods that I eat and what’s crazy is that I still somehow end up being full lol. That money can definitely be used elsewhere.
Another positive? That gym life has prevented me from bad relationships or entertaining people that I know I shouldn’t entertain. I’m a firm believer that idle time and boredom are what usually leads to these messed up situations. I’m human and sometimes I have urges lol. This can lead to maybe hitting up that person I know I shouldn’t deal with up or wasting someone’s time. Most days after a good workout you are too tired or sore from the gym or maybe you did need to release endorphins but that workout took care of things. Also sometimes it comes off to people as if you are too busy for them and they leave you alone and won’t even entertain you back lol.
You know there is this belief that working out helps you get women’s attention. Maybe it gets brief attention but nothing substantial. At least it doesn’t seem to work with women in my age group (lol and I’m not even in the shape that I want to be in yet). Most women in my age group may like a pic or two, maybe make comments, put up an emoji, maybe even send a DM but they rarely take you seriously and it comes from a place of boredom or they want a little attention (common themes for men and women). They call you stress, assume you have hoes and eventually marry some out of shape dude.
Lol and if you do happen to date a woman who may not be as into health as you a few things may happen. She may throw shade or try to sabotage your diet or gym routine. Then sometimes if she isn’t really feeling her physical appearance your body changing will lead to her not only feeling insecure but her asking questions like do you even still find her attractive or why are you with her or who are you working out for?
So yeah, the working out definitely isn’t for the women. As a matter of fact, women prefer chubby dudes it seems. Hell, almost every woman I know or come across always tells me I don’t need to lose any weight and while I smile and try to say something nice in my head I’m thinking “you arrogant asshole, why do you think your opinion of me is that important and why do you think I would put my body through this just to get a woman’s approval, FOH”
There is a human and shallow element involved with working out, however. I do want my body to look good and I would like to possibly get that 6 pack before I’m 40. Plus it’s so cool seeing your body gradually change so you have to post a pic or two or twenty. You know, to maybe motivate someone else but to also say “hey, random people who could care less about my life I’m looking better and not as fat as I used to be” lol.
It’s funny because people tell me all of the time that I am missing out or that I am not living. Someone’s daughter always finds time to tell me how old or boring or corny I am and sometimes will give me a speech on living life and that’s cool. I always laugh at that because I am aware that I am old and boring and a little corny so that’s like telling me water is wet. It’s also amusing because there really isn’t much of anything that you guys are doing that I haven’t done. I do like to remind them that we all have different likes, things that make us happy and different paths, in my opinion, no one’s is necessarily better than the other persons, that’s why I rarely make health suggestions to people outside of my Mom. The Dr. said she could die so I had no choice lol. Ironically I thought that by me making certain changes it would help motivate my Mom but umm Nah. In regards to the rest of y’all I say do what makes you feel good, I am not going to sit and judge what you consider is fun or living and I would hope you could extend me the same favor, sheesh.
With all of this being said, even with these changes I still could die young but I’m ok with that, in the meantime, I at least want to look good while I’m here. So yeah, that’s why I do it.