Need versus want

Is it me or do people seem to overvalue themselves in regards to the opposite sex and relationships in general? Hear me out. I am not saying that we should not know our worth and I am not saying that we aren’t all unique and special in certain ways either but what is it about us, in regards to the opposite sex that makes us think we stand out or are so special?

Like, are we really that rare? Do we really think people need us like that?

You know I think part of the issue is that we seem to undervalue or really do not respect the opposite sex. Men thinking all women are needy or too emotional, too dependant on others or weak. Meanwhile, women are thinking men are incompetent, need to be pushed and just overall dumb. Not saying that this does not apply to some men or women but if you go into a situation having these somewhat negative thoughts already won’t that energy manifest? I don’t know maybe you think that if you set the bar low it will be easier for people to exceed expectations. In the meantime, you are out here with someone who you really don’t view as an equal or someone that you feel you have to pick the slack up for. Seems like a lot of work and not really a partnership but I digress, if you are ok feeling like or being a Mom and Dad to another adult, Y’all got it.

Then again, maybe it’s our ego. I mean isn’t it ironic that we find ourselves thinking that these people really need us.  As if they haven’t survived or been able to do things before meeting us. Then that same ego tells us that after things no longer workout, they will never find a person as good as you, they will never be as happy. Lol, you sure about that? Plus what does it say about you that you want them to be unhappy or not be able to function without you? Is that love or just an example of how controlling or possessive you may be?

It feels like often times we mistake that whole want versus need thing. I get the beauty and balance that the opposite sex has on each other but technically men and women only need each other for procreation purposes. Outside of that? Everything else is a want, lol. Especially when we look at the versatility of men and women today. Yes I know, maybe Dad told you a woman needs a man to provide and lead, do masculine stuff and whatnot. Maybe Mom told you a man needs a woman to take care of him, push him to be better, nurture, take care of home. Sounds great and I imagine when men and women who believe this and really love each other get together, it’s magical. A thing of beauty. In fact, I know it is and I imagine at some point in my life I will have that. Maybe long term or seasonal but it will happen.

Still, with all of that being said, you probably are not going to die if you don’t have it. Even crazier than that, you can still be a happy, functioning adult if you don’t have it. I know it sounds crazy just saying it, you can be single and happy lol.

Now let’s mention the elephant in the room. I think a lot of you who think you are providing the opposite sex all of this greatness… really aren’t providing anything remotely close. In fact, a lot of you suck and don’t even realize it. We overvalue just how great we are and our contributions to relationships and the opposite sex quite often. It’s almost like looking in a trick mirror or something. Like, you look into it and it makes you look taller or more in shape or better than you actually look. Take that filter off “nice guy” and “good woman” lol.

Be out here like you know, I was a good boyfriend, I took her on dates, got her stuff just because, was faithful, made her feel wanted and communicated. When in all honesty, you didn’t go out much, only got her stuff on holidays or when you were in trouble, was still communicating with other women, she just didn’t catch you, told her she looked good every once in awhile but told women online they looked good everyday, and didn’t communicate much at all, just basically asked how her day was daily lol.

Same applies to you so-called good women. Swear you were a good, faithful woman, who pushed your man to be better but in all honesty you were controlling, treated him with little respect and just pushed him away or into someone else’s arms. I could get more into that and give more examples but I feel like I give you ladies a hard enough time as is. Plus you get the point. Which is that we are rarely doing as well as we think we are.

So yeah, know your worth but don’t be delusional or stupid or full of yourself. He or she will be ok with or without you and on the flipside, you will be able to survive without him or her.

Oh yeah, get over yourselves too lol.

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