I heard about the Fabolous domestic violence incident and the most recent R. Kelly (sexual abuse) allegations and my first thoughts were that I feel sorry for the victims, what if it was one of my friends or family, and I feel bad the kids involved in these allegations (we have to remember that whole innocent until proven guilty thing) whether what happened is true or not.

Notice that I didn’t say my thoughts were what the victims should have done, not any jokes, not wondering why did they do it, not people explaining what they would have done in that situation, not their music, not even others opinions on the subject and if that may make you think they have similar views or habits, not anything else. Just damn, I feel sorry for the victims involved.

Quite often it feels like we get too caught up in everything except the real issues. Hell, it’s bad enough that we get so invested in these celebrities lives.

Then again maybe I’m being a grumpy old man, taking things too seriously and being a killjoy. Maybe situations like these will start productive conversations between men and women and bring awareness to problems that happen to non-famous women as well as the famous ones?

Who am I kidding, I know that more than likely it won’t. It rarely does. It usually leads to back and forth name calling and jokes between people.

These are such sad moments and I don’t know, it just feels like all of the other stuff is so counterproductive and negative.

The crazy thing is that you can easily get caught up in it. You mess around and find yourself in someone’s mentions going back and forth and getting frustrated over basically nothing.

I think at this stage it just makes more sense for me to first and foremost be thankful none of my female family or friends (that I know of) are going through this. Then use these moments as a wake-up call and reminder to not only check up on those close to me (men and women) because you can’t just assume that everything is ok in regards to friends and family. It is important to ask them.

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