Some topics on Twitter feel like the proverbial “beating of a dead horse”. It seems like there is a daily “discussion” about we have about dating, money, and sex between men and women.
I remember the $200 date discussion, to pre-dates, to now $50 dates. Lol, that 50 sounds like a good deal, even though I can go to Nando’s, get ice cream and take a walk on the waterfront for even less than that but I digress.
So yeah, let’s look into that dating thing. As a man, I will admit that often times dating can feel one-sided. You have to pick what to do and where to go. You have to pay for the date and then hope the other person actually likes it. Talk about pressure. With all of that being said, knowing that this is the norm in society it would probably be best if you actually chose someone you got to know very well, that you actually liked, are truly interested in and someone who has shown similar interest in you and has similar tastes as well. Just speaking from experience, when you are doing this with someone who you actually like it doesn’t bother you that much, in fact, you will crave it and want to do it more.
Let me further explain that similar taste thing. Maybe shouldn’t call it similar tastes but maybe a similar lifestyle? If you are on the lower end of the tax bracket or frugal, you may want to date the woman who shops at Target instead of the woman in Saks or whatever expensive stores women shop at. It isn’t about being insecure but if you know she has expensive tastes and that isn’t you just leave her alone. Let someone else talk to her. It’s not even about you having to purchase things because I imagine that she can do that herself but the differences can become an obstacle. If her shopping tastes are expensive, there is a chance that the same applies to restaurant’s, her hobbies, everything. Call me crazy but I feel as if she has a certain standard or way of living if you can’t meet or exceed it leave her be.
You really need to date someone you are actually into because at the end of the day outside of sex and enjoying someone’s company, the only benefit of dating, in my opinion, is making the other person happy and that feeling you get knowing you are responsible for making someone you like (or more) happy & showing them a good time. I understand that they can also make you feel better and upgrade your life in other aspects but I am speaking on just the early stages of dating someone. Like I know I feel low-key accomplished after a good date.
I also have to say this to men. Learn to budget and get creative when you date because I don’t care what women tell you or how often they call you broke (yet most don’t pay for dates and only do it on occasion, go figure), dating can be expensive. Think about it, maybe you normally grab fast food, a sub, pizza or Chinese for dinner. That normally won’t cost over 15 bucks. So now instead of going to those places you go on a date and the food won’t only cost more but you will have to pay for 2 people. So don’t always go out for food. Utilize Groupon, look up weekly events and festivals in your city, find museums and galleries, do whatever you have to do in order to not overextend yourself financially.
I’m frugal as Hell though so I hope your budgets may be a little larger than mine lol. I remember my last local situationship. I was spending around $500 a month dating, easily. Yes, I counted, not to be petty but like I told Y’all I’m frugal & budget is life, so I documented everything that I spent.
So even with all of these precautions, there is still a high risk of you losing or wasting time and money but that’s the risk we all take. If you want to date and find a partner this is what it takes to make that happen and that’s ok. You have to put in the time and some money in order to potentially get what you want.
Oh yeah, back to that budget thing, I see what some of you spend on other things like shoes etc. monthly and I don’t know why you would complain about $50 or even $100 dates but it’s not my place to judge or count other people’s pockets. Maybe you are complaining because you feel as if the shoes are a better investment or make more sense? Hell, I invest a few hundred a month into the gym and spend at least 7 hours a week there. There have been times where I thought to myself that this investment is more fulfilling or makes more sense than the process of dating and dealing with a woman. It was like well I put in the time, money & effort & I see results. I don’t get stressed or cheated and as I mentioned earlier, I actually see results, positive ones. Comparing that to dating and it was no contest. Then I thought about how bitter and wrong this sounded so I changed my thought process, I had to. I said all of that to say we will spend and put in time with things that really matter to us.
In regards to the ladies, I don’t know what to tell you. Ask your male relatives, friends, and women who actually are in successful and happy relationships lol. I’m not even going to lie or pretend to know what you should do. However, I imagine that if what someone spends is the number one criteria in dating it could possibly lead to failure. Unless of course, that’s all that you want if so, keep up the good work lol.
You know, I really wish both sides realized what each other went through. It feels like women think men have it easy and vice versa. I know as a man I assume in regards to dating all a woman has to do is show up. She doesn’t have to plan a date, ask for a date or spend money. Seems like she has it made. This isn’t taking into account what she does to look good on the date but even more important the potential risks. Like, will dude assault me or worse, what if he is a creep, is he telling the truth, is he really single, does he really want the same thing as me? That’s a lot.
Meanwhile, some women think it’s just as easy for men. I hear from friends all the time who complain about dating, it’s not that expensive, it’s not hard to pick a good place and be creative, he should be able to hold a conversation, etc. Well it is expensive, try paying for a few dates and you would know that lol and as far as being creative & picking good places, lol at least we aren’t asking you to just come through lol. Also, there really is a bit of pressure attempting not to mess up when deciding where to go on a date, no one wants to be “that guy”. Oh yeah and being someone who can be a little blunt and says stupid ish from time to time, that conversation can be tough.
No excuses, however. I still feel as if women should have standards, preferences & criteria or requirements when dating as should men. It’s your life and no one else can tell you what you should and shouldn’t deal with.
As far as dating goes in my life, I’m more of a traditional dater so I end up following all those gender roles and that traditional dating crap so my struggle is real.
So yeah, when will you guys stop arguing? Like maybe actually listen to each other for a change? I mean it’s pretty obvious you do it online because either you are hurt or maybe you are lonely and bored. Then again this could be an attempt at gaining attention. Lol, Y’all ain’t slick. Hell, this is coming from a man who once wore and posted himself wearing a “Forever Alone” t-shirt. Lol, I definitely got some attention from that.
The hilarious thing is that we are so similar and both sides have it tough on some level. So we need to stop with the “men have it worse” or “women have it worse” narrative. It’s tough for everyone. Male, female, gay, straight, in between lol, rich or poor.
You know, I don’t even know why I’m posting this, it’s summer and everyone is currently on their “I’m good luv, enjoy” or “nice for what” mode right now. I imagine that once the temperature drops below the 50’s consistently this post will be more relevant. So maybe I will repost again at a later date lol. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just continue being amused at the daily, repetitive, battle of the sexes.