Boy meets girl, either in person, social media or a dating site. They converse and things seem to click. Like the vibe is good and no real issues. Things are going well, so well that for a split second you even think to yourself that yes it’s early but maybe this time it won’t fail like the others. You go on a few dates, maybe sex, maybe no sex, still no real issues and then Boom! You no longer text or anything. They just basically disappear, minus when you see them post online or something.
Does this cycle sound familiar to any of you?
Part of me wants to delve further into why things end abruptly but Hell it could be any reason. Someone catches feelings too quickly and becomes afraid and pulls away, the distance may be too much, someone from the past pops up, feelings could just change, like, what once was cute is now annoying or a potential warning sign, they may like the other person they are talking to better, their text never came through or they forgot to respond and you don’t believe in triple texting (you laugh but this happens). Hell, sometimes a major event happens in their life or something stressful happens that makes them pull away. People complain about that but if it is early in the talking stage maybe you briefly share what’s going on but I don’t think that is a good idea to go into detail nor is it a good idea to ask for the other person’s advice or assistance, or better yet, expect them to wait while you get whatever it is together. I don’t think that is fair. At least not while there is no title or much time together. Oh yeah, and another reason things may end abruptly is that maybe their BF or GF found out about you lol. I could probably keep going but I think you get my point.
So yeah, I’m not going to focus on that, instead I am beginning to wonder are we just seasonal or temporary people? Is it reasonable to think that things will last forever? Well, at least until death? Like maybe our attention spans are so short that we can’t maintain interest in another person but for so long. Maybe that’s why small things can turn us off and we totally lose interest. Then again it could be that our patience is too thin and if things aren’t progressing as fast as we want we let it go. Whatever the reason it’s seems as if these “things” don’t have a long shelf life. Things meaning people in regards to talking, dating, and relationships. That’s why we have so many potential “him’s & hers” every single year. Don’t believe me? Go back and look at text threads or old statuses. Lol, that’s why people get so many unsaved “hey stranger” texts every year.
So have you ever thought to yourself what if for the majority that’s how things are supposed to be? When I turned 30 or some age close to that I began to think to myself, why aren’t you married bruh? Like I was pressed and frustrated. I mean, I would meet some decent people but nothing ever seemed to come if it. Sometimes because of me and sometimes because of them. So why is that? After blaming myself (either I picked these women or messed up) I decided to go a little deeper, I mean Hell, even I “Mr. Accountability” get’s tired of beating myself up. So after much deliberation, I came up with the theory that maybe this is just how this generation rolls. Like we aren’t as traditional as the previous generation and because we are so independent, I feel as if we don’t think that we need each other. Also, we have so much access to other men and women. She acting too extra? Let’s find someone else to entertain. He isn’t communicating enough? Lets find a guy who will. I mean why beg or wait for someone to do what we want when there are so many other’s who will. Better yet, why change our ways or compromise when there are so many other people who may not have an issue or deal with us how we are.
So I imagine its safe to say that this wasn’t like back in the day when Grandma & Grandpa stayed together no matter what. It couldn’t be right? Even if Grandpa had another kid on Grandma that lived up the road they would still stay married lol. So despite those relationships which weren’t always happy and in some instances flat out terrible it still worked. Mainly because everyone had a role and for better or worse they felt as if they needed each other. Usually, Granddad provided and led the household made sure Grandma was as happy and well taken care of (well as well as he could take care of her) & did the outside stuff. Meanwhile, Grandma held the household down in other ways, she also cooked, took care of the kids and overall held the family together. Which also meant having to make Grandpa happy.
Wasn’t always pretty but it worked. I guess? Lol, so back to my theory from a few years ago. It could be that no one is meant to be in our lives long term. Because we are continuously evolving or our wants and our needs keep changing. So we have to make adjustments or be miserable. So I decided to do some math. Maybe it’s meant for me to have like 10 to 15 situationships or relationships that could average around 2 to 3 years tops and that should hold me over until I die.
Ha! Years later and most of these situations last at the longest, from 3 months to a damn year lol. So now what about this theory. It looks like I need to multiply that number by 3 so more like 30 to 45 smh. Lol, no way in Hell. Just thinking about that makes me tired.
Not even trying to be funny but what else can we do or expect? So many of you go through the exact same talking or dating cycle as me. So it’s not necessarily coincidental. Then you see others get married but either be miserable, cheaters or it end in divorce. So since it seems as if nothing is permanent anyway…
Lol and no I’m not saying this applies to the majority because I am just one man and I don’t know billions of people. However the majority of people that I do know or observe, this does seem to apply to them.
So what are we supposed to do? I guess you better keep that resume updated and get ready for the next potential “seasonal or temporary job opportunity”. I guess we just have to learn to enjoy them while they last, then pick up the pieces and try again.
Lol, but what do I know. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic (shocking I know) but there really doesn’t seem like there are many other options at the moment. The ironic thing is that it’s not that I’m necessarily an advocate of this lifestyle or POV. Hell, there isn’t much that is more humbling than taking a risk, putting yourself out there, giving yourself to someone emotionally, spiritually and mentally (and hopefully physically, ha) saying this is who I am, take me and them eventually saying “nah, I don’t want you anymore” lol. It doesn’t feel good at all, I don’t care how you try to justify it or tell yourself what a great catch you are, it still will at the very least sting for a little bit. So no I am not a huge fan of this cycle but at the same time I see patterns and my logic kicks in and tells me to adjust adapt or adjust accordingly. So I just think that at this stage I’m a little more accepting of the fact that this may be my fate and the future of dating for this generation. So um, good luck out there. Hopefully, one day, one of those temp jobs becomes a permanent one.