No one else to blame

There are characters throughout TV and movies that I can’t stand. Three that come to mind are Steve Urkel in Family Matters, Sam Rothstein in Casino, and to a lesser extent because he was somewhat slow, Forrest Gump.

I often hear people complain and say that these men were victims and somewhat sympathetic characters but I never understood that reasoning. What was so sympathetic about them and what exactly were they victims of?

Some people say that they were victims of manipulative and evil women. The women being Laura Winslow, Ginger and Jenny.

All of the characters eventually married or at least were engaged to the woman of their dreams which is what they wanted. It worked out for Urkel as Laura finally accepted his proposal after damn near 20 years of rejection. Ginger married Sam and then eventually left him and died of an overdose and Forrest married Jenny, who died of AIDS and left Forrest with a kid who wasn’t his.

Yes, these women sound terrible but here is the kicker, these women never pretended to be something that they weren’t. Laura rejected Steve for years and Steve decided to continue pursuing her. Ginger was a money hungry, drug addict prostitute who was still in love with her pimp but Sam decided to marry her. Jenny was, well it doesn’t matter I guess because Forrest was somewhat off but she never lied to Forrest until the end at least. You know what, let’s just take Forrest and Jenny off of this list. My bad Forrest.

So yeah, back to Steve and Sam. Yes, they were embarrassed and made to feel stupid and got played but it was all their fault. I really can’t blame Laura Winslow or Ginger for anything that happened to them.

You know, as I interact and observe my fellow brothers I see a lot of similarities between them and the fictional male characters that I listed above. A lot of men are out here choosing women who have been honest, let them know that they weren’t really interested or only wanted men who could provide for them financially on a certain level or women who said that they lose interest easily or prefer having options.

Despite this knowledge, these men felt as if their charm, personality, persistence, niceness or sex game could change these women’s minds. While I respect the confidence I still can’t help but laugh because we all know what usually happens. The woman continues to be herself and eventually leaves the man alone or strings him along until he finally gets fed up or she finds a better option. Then, of course, the woman becomes a hoe, gold digger or you accuse her of “using you” or “taking advantage of you”. This, of course, is usually followed by some post about how nice guys always finish last or a proclamation that you will never love again or some stupid shit.

You know, I think the nice guys’ finish last saying should be changed to arrogant guys finish last. I say that because you have to be an arrogant fool to think that you have the ability to change the mind or the preferences another adult. In fact when you look up the word arrogant part of the definition says “an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities”.

So the next time you pursue someone who hasn’t shown interest in you or may be out of your price range or have different values don’t call her names after things fall off between you two. Instead, call yourself names because it is your fault for dealing with that person.

Lol and to those of you who believe that persistence is the key you have the classic example, Steve Urkel. I get it, Steve did finally get Laura but do you think that all the years of rejection and ridicule and the fact that he knows Laura made the “safe choice” were really worth it? Besides, let’s be real if that show continued it would only be a matter of time before Laura cheated with or left Urkel for Steffan lol.





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