Did you create that narrative?

It really has been difficult finding a topic to write about this year. Partly because I haven’t really been in the mood to write but also because I just haven’t been able to find anything to write about. If you follow me you know that I get most of my topics from whatever you guys post about on social media. Recently most of the things that you guys post about are resolutions or plans for the new year ( already wrote about it), R. Kelly (I am not touching that topic again) and how you guys want to be taken out of the good morning text location (lol, can’t wait to see what energy you guys will have in about a month).

I guess I could write about something going on in my personal life… Hell no lol. Then I randomly checked Twitter one morning and I saw this tweet:


I personally didn’t feel as if this tweet was profound or necessarily correct, however in an attempt to be more open-minded and realizing that everyone has different experiences I decided to I guess, “roll with it” or attempt to at least see their point of view.

Personally, I would prefer that a statement like this would go over better by a parent if they followed up with telling women that not all men are this way… are we? Lol and then maybe telling them what they should look for in a man or something? Hell, I don’t know, I don’t have a damn daughter. and this isn’t where I am trying to go with this post.

So what do you think was your first experience or opinions with the opposite sex? Like in a way where you actually liked them. Maybe I was different but when I was younger I thought most women had cooties and the idea of a girlfriend was just… eww. Now that I am older I have replaced the “T” in cooties with “ch” (HA) and the girlfriend thing, well some women may argue that this concept is still foreign to a lot of men in their age bracket.

Like before, the first time you got curved, or before that first heartbreak, or before that first bash session with your friends about the opposite sex, how was your opinion formed or shaped?

Fellas think back, as a kid or teenager how did your mother describe women or girls in your age bracket to you? Well in some households or families, mine included females (forgive me if that word offends you) were described as being sneaky, fast, could spend all your little money (lol I grew up in the south). Meanwhile, males were described to only want one thing from women and they will lie or do anything to get it to my sister and cousins.

So boom! Per a Man’s perspective, all males want is sex and according to women, all females are sneaky and want to use you, lol. Talk about thinking highly of yourselves. I often wish that as a kid I had the balls to ask “So are you like the men or women you have described to me”? Because looking back at it’s like, well damn, if you have this negative perception of your own gender, it has to mean that either you hate yourself or you’re a bad person… correct? Lol or let me guess, you were the exception to the rule and you should only date a woman or man like you.

Talk about the potential of having an Oedipus complex lol. One can also argue that often people date those who are like their parents so if you tell your kid to date someone like you and you happen to be toxic or effed up… let’s just say you may be setting them up for failure.

So back to this forming opinion or views thing. I get it, I am willing to bet that this information or view of the opposite sex is from a good place and passed down to warn us and potentially save us from heartbreak, picking the wrong partner or being taken advantage of but still. Do you think that maybe this is why some of us have these negative views? Well, obviously personal experiences have also helped us form certain views or opinions about the opposite sex but is this the introduction to that? Like subconsciously were we already there and our life experiences and media have just reinforced it?

I find myself laughing because just last month I asked my two nieces, aged 10 and 13 did they have boyfriends. They said no and just without thinking I replied: “Yo better not, cuz these little knotty headed boys are up to no good”.

Damn, I couldn’t add that all men aren’t this way like I want to do when women post negative comments about men online? Lol, pot meets kettle.

So hypothetically, if we happen to tell kids things like this it either will lead to them feeling this way about the opposite sex or feeling as if they need to sneak or deny (some may call this lie) about who they are dealing with and that can open a whole entire can of worms, maybe even like the ones mentioned in the tweet that I posted earlier.


So let me look at this again. If you say that men only want one thing to young girls without letting her know there are other things that can be offered. Just by human nature, when she finds herself liking or attracted to men there could be a battle. Maybe she feels guilty so she doesn’t discuss it with the parent. Instead, she listens to advice from the guy or her friends.  So now that she has realized that the only way to get men is to give them what she thinks that they want she does it and continues to do so. Well damn, I guess that tweet made more sense than I originally realized.

They do say that words have power…

Also isn’t it ironic that some of us who like to blame the opposite sex for the messed up views of each other may have been wrong and should have been placing the blame on themselves and their gender the entire time?

Go figure.


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